Ouch

So I'm toughing it through my fourth bout of mastitis...better known as breast infection hell. Not so much fun. Tucker and I have been waging a battle of epic proportions with each other...we both cry. Its not my fault that I'm sore and engorged and salty (had to look that up to confirm that infection does in fact alter the taste of the milk) and I guess its not Tucker's fault that he's a baby and doesn't give a rat's patootie about the previous.

*sigh*

I'm seriously considering giving up nursing all together. I've given my baby four full months of nutritious breastmilk, which is more than what I thought he would get when I had mastitis the first time....despite my little pat on the back for four months, I still feel like I would be a failure if I gave up now. I know that's silly butI can't help but think that since I've gone this long, I might as well stick it out. My goal is six months. If I can do that then I will be okay if I end up quitting anytime after that and before a year.

...

I spend alot of time on BabyCenter.com and therefore I hear alot about what other mamas are doing...I wish I could be one of those crunchy, cloth-diapering, breastfeeding, crafty, homemaker-types...but I guess that just isn't me. I can barely handle the breastfeeding! I'm not even sure being a stay at home mommy is all for me. Its definitely not what its cracked up to be...some days I go to the grocery store just for social interaction and I have to wander around looking for something to mercy buy. So Nate and I were talking about the possibility of me getting a part time job to get me out of the house (for my sanity) and for a little extra income.

We will see about that.