Breakdown

Tonight I finally had a breakdown. To spare the dirty details, lets just say that there were tears on both mine and Tucker's part. Tonight we had a love-hate relationship. It was ugly.

But somehow I feel relief. I think I needed to hit the bottom (so-to-speak) in order to see how far down I had gotten. We stayed up late talking and trying to figure things out a little. I've never been a mommy and Tucker has never been a baby before. We're still working out the kinks in our relationship. We're adjusting to each other.

I never realized what being tired will do to a 14 pound body. One word- meltdown. He cried. Then I cried. And something amazing happened, he let me cry. He watched me. It was as if he was saying, "Its okay, Mommy. You can cry too." Tears are how we show our anger, frustration, tiredness, etc. That goes for babies as well as adults. Tonight proved that.

Thank goodness Tucker has such a short memory right now. He doesn't remember Mommy being upset or crying or anything else. All he remembers is that Mommy is his favorite person.



I like being his favorite person.