Late Nights

Well, here it is 3:33 in the morning and I'm up with Tucker (for the 2nd time tonight)...I keep telling myself that eventually he will get the whole "hey its nighttime, I should go to sleep" bit. But he's not even 4 months old yet so I certainly don't expect him to be able to sleep through the night already...it would just be nice. Nate is, of course, sound asleep in the bedroom while I'm on the couch nursing T, watching a zombie movie, and typing this...The weekends aren't really all that special anymore, every day is pretty much the same for us. I like the routine but I dread nighttime, which is a little ironic and sad for me because I used to be such a night person!

I've always been a night owl...in college I never went to bed before midnight and there were plenty of nights that went well into the wee hours of the morning. Maybe Tucker got that from me because he can stay up as late as he wants. Sometimes he gets a little crabby when he is tired but for the most part, it really doesn't phase him. I wish it would. I guess he just has an amazingly efficient digestive system because no matter how much milk I try to plug him up with, he will still wake up ever couple hours at night with a few random 3-4 hour stretches, on a consistent basis. There have also been a handful of times when he slept for 5-6 hours straight. I have come to terms with the fact that these are the exception and certainly not the rule.

...

I love my baby. I tell myself this not because I don't already know it but I need to be reminded when its in the middle of the night and everyone is sleeping but I'm not. Even when T is asleep I still can't relax because my body and my brain are telling me that even if i do fall asleep I will still have to get up and feed the baby again in a couple hours. *sigh* Sometimes I feel like I'm missing something and that I must be doing something wrong and thats why my baby doesn't sleep long periods of time. When I think like this I just have to look at T and make a goofy face or say something silly and get him to grin at me...then I realize that he is so flippin' happy that I must be doing most everything right because my baby loves me and that is all that matters.

Even at 3:33 in the morning.