So I'm toughing it through my fourth bout of mastitis...better known as breast infection hell. Not so much fun. Tucker and I have been waging a battle of epic proportions with each other...we both cry. Its not my fault that I'm sore and engorged and salty (had to look that up to confirm that infection does in fact alter the taste of the milk) and I guess its not Tucker's fault that he's a baby and doesn't give a rat's patootie about the previous.
*sigh*
I'm seriously considering giving up nursing all together. I've given my baby four full months of nutritious breastmilk, which is more than what I thought he would get when I had mastitis the first time....despite my little pat on the back for four months, I still feel like I would be a failure if I gave up now. I know that's silly butI can't help but think that since I've gone this long, I might as well stick it out. My goal is six months. If I can do that then I will be okay if I end up quitting anytime after that and before a year.
...
I spend alot of time on BabyCenter.com and therefore I hear alot about what other mamas are doing...I wish I could be one of those crunchy, cloth-diapering, breastfeeding, crafty, homemaker-types...but I guess that just isn't me. I can barely handle the breastfeeding! I'm not even sure being a stay at home mommy is all for me. Its definitely not what its cracked up to be...some days I go to the grocery store just for social interaction and I have to wander around looking for something to mercy buy. So Nate and I were talking about the possibility of me getting a part time job to get me out of the house (for my sanity) and for a little extra income.
We will see about that.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The weekend finally!
So its been another week....a better week...a refreshing week. I've gotten a good amount of rest (which is still not alot but more than before...any little bit is an improvement) Nate and Tucker and I have had alot of fun. I started swapping on http://www.swapmamas.com/ and it has officially become my new obsession. Its like shopping but without spending a ton of money...just the cost of shipping. And since I was going to get rid of a bunch of stuff anyways, its fun to get something in return. So far I've swapped some clothes, a purse, pair of gloves and some jewelry for baby clothes, baby washcloths/towels, skirt, shirt, and toy for T. I think I'm making out pretty good. I find myself hunting through the house with my camera looking for junk to swap...like I said, I'm obsessed. I've also spread the swapping fever to my mom, sis, and friends. Ooh its contagious!!!
I've also tried harder to accomplish some more things this week. Aside from cleaning out some boxes and stuff (for swapping) I've gotten some cleaning done (the whole kitchen in one day!) and I've tried out my new crock pot (thanks Mom and Dad) with a chicken chili recipe from my sister. Unfortunately for me, Shannon can throw a bunch of stuff in a pot and have it turn out delicious and when I asked her for the recipe it was more of a "dump it" type soup....with no actual recipe....So she gave me the list of ingredients that she generally uses and I kinda had to "wing it." So I went to the grocery store and bought the stuff and came home and pretty much dumped a bunch of stuff into the crock pot, turned it on, and left it to simmer and stew until Nate came home.
Fast forward 3 hours later....
Nate said it smelled really good (which is usually a good sign) so I tasted it and proclaimed, "this stuff is delicious!" And it WAS! So here's all the stuff I threw into the crock pot:
6 or 7 Frozen chicken tenders (yes, frozen)
Frozen corn (not sure how much b/c I just emptied the bag)
1 can kidney beans
1 can black beans
1 can stewed tomatoes
1 little can tomato paste
2 cans water
Handful of chopped onion
Squirt of spicy brown mustard
Dump of dry mustard (maybe about a tablespoon???)
Brown sugar (about a 1/8 to a 1/4 cup)
Pace Salsa (1/4 cup about???)
Salt/Pepper
Oregano
Basil
Parsley
Celery Salt
Spicy Mrs. Dash (Nate's idea)
So I think that is it....I was really proud that it turned out so good! Nate loved it (which is good, because he had to eat it!) And he is kinda picky sometimes and wouldn't have finished it if he didn't like it. So I passed the test- the bowl was empty :)
So the confidence booster was just what I needed so I decided that I'm going to try a couple new recipes every week to practice my cooking skills (going all Julie/Julia) and I will post success stories and good recipes I find. Today I'm tackling rice pudding. Easy, but new to me. Nice to get to spend the weekend at home with my boys and hopefully soon, a big bowl of warm, cinammony rice pudding.
I've also tried harder to accomplish some more things this week. Aside from cleaning out some boxes and stuff (for swapping) I've gotten some cleaning done (the whole kitchen in one day!) and I've tried out my new crock pot (thanks Mom and Dad) with a chicken chili recipe from my sister. Unfortunately for me, Shannon can throw a bunch of stuff in a pot and have it turn out delicious and when I asked her for the recipe it was more of a "dump it" type soup....with no actual recipe....So she gave me the list of ingredients that she generally uses and I kinda had to "wing it." So I went to the grocery store and bought the stuff and came home and pretty much dumped a bunch of stuff into the crock pot, turned it on, and left it to simmer and stew until Nate came home.
Fast forward 3 hours later....
Nate said it smelled really good (which is usually a good sign) so I tasted it and proclaimed, "this stuff is delicious!" And it WAS! So here's all the stuff I threw into the crock pot:
6 or 7 Frozen chicken tenders (yes, frozen)
Frozen corn (not sure how much b/c I just emptied the bag)
1 can kidney beans
1 can black beans
1 can stewed tomatoes
1 little can tomato paste
2 cans water
Handful of chopped onion
Squirt of spicy brown mustard
Dump of dry mustard (maybe about a tablespoon???)
Brown sugar (about a 1/8 to a 1/4 cup)
Pace Salsa (1/4 cup about???)
Salt/Pepper
Oregano
Basil
Parsley
Celery Salt
Spicy Mrs. Dash (Nate's idea)
So I think that is it....I was really proud that it turned out so good! Nate loved it (which is good, because he had to eat it!) And he is kinda picky sometimes and wouldn't have finished it if he didn't like it. So I passed the test- the bowl was empty :)
So the confidence booster was just what I needed so I decided that I'm going to try a couple new recipes every week to practice my cooking skills (going all Julie/Julia) and I will post success stories and good recipes I find. Today I'm tackling rice pudding. Easy, but new to me. Nice to get to spend the weekend at home with my boys and hopefully soon, a big bowl of warm, cinammony rice pudding.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Breakdown
Tonight I finally had a breakdown. To spare the dirty details, lets just say that there were tears on both mine and Tucker's part. Tonight we had a love-hate relationship. It was ugly.
But somehow I feel relief. I think I needed to hit the bottom (so-to-speak) in order to see how far down I had gotten. We stayed up late talking and trying to figure things out a little. I've never been a mommy and Tucker has never been a baby before. We're still working out the kinks in our relationship. We're adjusting to each other.
I never realized what being tired will do to a 14 pound body. One word- meltdown. He cried. Then I cried. And something amazing happened, he let me cry. He watched me. It was as if he was saying, "Its okay, Mommy. You can cry too." Tears are how we show our anger, frustration, tiredness, etc. That goes for babies as well as adults. Tonight proved that.
Thank goodness Tucker has such a short memory right now. He doesn't remember Mommy being upset or crying or anything else. All he remembers is that Mommy is his favorite person.
I like being his favorite person.
But somehow I feel relief. I think I needed to hit the bottom (so-to-speak) in order to see how far down I had gotten. We stayed up late talking and trying to figure things out a little. I've never been a mommy and Tucker has never been a baby before. We're still working out the kinks in our relationship. We're adjusting to each other.
I never realized what being tired will do to a 14 pound body. One word- meltdown. He cried. Then I cried. And something amazing happened, he let me cry. He watched me. It was as if he was saying, "Its okay, Mommy. You can cry too." Tears are how we show our anger, frustration, tiredness, etc. That goes for babies as well as adults. Tonight proved that.
Thank goodness Tucker has such a short memory right now. He doesn't remember Mommy being upset or crying or anything else. All he remembers is that Mommy is his favorite person.
I like being his favorite person.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Naked Boy!
Daddy let T-Bone pee all over so while we were getting the bath ready, I snapped a couple naked pics...he was so cute with his little naked bum...now I have great ammo for when he gets older!
Late Nights
Well, here it is 3:33 in the morning and I'm up with Tucker (for the 2nd time tonight)...I keep telling myself that eventually he will get the whole "hey its nighttime, I should go to sleep" bit. But he's not even 4 months old yet so I certainly don't expect him to be able to sleep through the night already...it would just be nice. Nate is, of course, sound asleep in the bedroom while I'm on the couch nursing T, watching a zombie movie, and typing this...The weekends aren't really all that special anymore, every day is pretty much the same for us. I like the routine but I dread nighttime, which is a little ironic and sad for me because I used to be such a night person!
I've always been a night owl...in college I never went to bed before midnight and there were plenty of nights that went well into the wee hours of the morning. Maybe Tucker got that from me because he can stay up as late as he wants. Sometimes he gets a little crabby when he is tired but for the most part, it really doesn't phase him. I wish it would. I guess he just has an amazingly efficient digestive system because no matter how much milk I try to plug him up with, he will still wake up ever couple hours at night with a few random 3-4 hour stretches, on a consistent basis. There have also been a handful of times when he slept for 5-6 hours straight. I have come to terms with the fact that these are the exception and certainly not the rule.
...
I love my baby. I tell myself this not because I don't already know it but I need to be reminded when its in the middle of the night and everyone is sleeping but I'm not. Even when T is asleep I still can't relax because my body and my brain are telling me that even if i do fall asleep I will still have to get up and feed the baby again in a couple hours. *sigh* Sometimes I feel like I'm missing something and that I must be doing something wrong and thats why my baby doesn't sleep long periods of time. When I think like this I just have to look at T and make a goofy face or say something silly and get him to grin at me...then I realize that he is so flippin' happy that I must be doing most everything right because my baby loves me and that is all that matters.
Even at 3:33 in the morning.
I've always been a night owl...in college I never went to bed before midnight and there were plenty of nights that went well into the wee hours of the morning. Maybe Tucker got that from me because he can stay up as late as he wants. Sometimes he gets a little crabby when he is tired but for the most part, it really doesn't phase him. I wish it would. I guess he just has an amazingly efficient digestive system because no matter how much milk I try to plug him up with, he will still wake up ever couple hours at night with a few random 3-4 hour stretches, on a consistent basis. There have also been a handful of times when he slept for 5-6 hours straight. I have come to terms with the fact that these are the exception and certainly not the rule.
...
I love my baby. I tell myself this not because I don't already know it but I need to be reminded when its in the middle of the night and everyone is sleeping but I'm not. Even when T is asleep I still can't relax because my body and my brain are telling me that even if i do fall asleep I will still have to get up and feed the baby again in a couple hours. *sigh* Sometimes I feel like I'm missing something and that I must be doing something wrong and thats why my baby doesn't sleep long periods of time. When I think like this I just have to look at T and make a goofy face or say something silly and get him to grin at me...then I realize that he is so flippin' happy that I must be doing most everything right because my baby loves me and that is all that matters.
Even at 3:33 in the morning.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Why do I have a blog if I don't keep it updated?
The title says it all. I started a blog so I would have a journal-esque outlet for what is going on in our lives. Lets face it, facebook doesn't really work for this...although I obviously frequent facebook much more often than my blog. *sigh* I can't believe that my last post was before Tucker was born...lazy, lazy me. I remember awhile ago typing out my entire birth story and was going to post it but for one reason or another I never quite hit enter. I should have saved it simply because those memories are already fading...how will I ever properly guilt my child for the excruciating agony of childbirth if I can't remember all the gory details??? Anyways, these are the thoughts of a tired, rambling woman who rarely gets enough sleep...
Well, so I guess I will try to do the last few months a little bit of justice. Nate has started his job at the hospital, we moved to Silverdale, WA....I'm forgetting something...oh, right, we had Tucker! Our sweet baby boy joined us on the 27th of September (11 days overdue! Oy!) at 8 lbs 12.5 oz. and 22 inches. He is truly the light of our lives and most certainly keeps us on our toes day and night! He already has a strong personality and he is not afraid to let anyone know it!
So far the things that he does are as follows:
Roll over (every now and again) from tummy to back and once or twice from back to tummy
Grabs toys and puts them in his mouth
Talks and giggles and coos
Grips fingers and clothes and hair
"Stands" up when pulled to feet
Recognizes Mommy and Daddy and our voices
Chews on his Tigger beanie
Holds head up entirely on his own
Sits up in his bumbo chair
Grabs feet and sometimes bites them
Tracks faces, toys, hands, etc.
He is our Wonder Baby! He amazes us each and every day with his cuteness and by how smart he is. We just love him so much and are so grateful for the blessing that he is to our family. We call him an animal because he is incredibly feisty. He has already mastered the art of fake crying to get our attention. He yells for us when we aren't paying him enough attention and he is feeling left out. He loves, or better yet, NEEDS to be snuggled and held and loved all the time. Tucker is incredibly demanding of my time and energy but I truly wouldn't have it any other way. I call him my "practice baby" but I think he refers to me as his "practice mommy"...he's never been a baby before and I've never been a mommy so we're both figuring things out. I'd give us both an A+ so far!
As I said earlier, Nate is working at the hospital now in the Family Practice Clinic. Back in October he got his orders to Bremerton, WA with him working at Naval Hospital Bremerton. We, technically, live in Silverdale on Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor. (I'm still learning all the lingo, etc.) The hospital is actually on a separate base but its only about 10 minutes from the base we live on. Everything is really great here! We live in a cute 2 bedroom apartment in a really nice, family neighborhood. We live a couple minutes (a 10 minute walk outside) from the Navy Exchange, Commisary, Post Office, gym, movie theater, etc. Its great that all our needs can be met on base but Silverdale is literally like a couple miles down the highway so we are about 10 minutes from Target, Pier 1, Barnes and Noble, the mall, etc. Its really great to have the benefits of living near the city but with the privacy and seclusion (not to mention safety) of living on the naval base.
Nate loves his job. As I said, he's working at the Family Practice Clinic at the hospital...he's met alot of great people there and they love him and think he is doing a great job! He's also done a couple shifts in the ER, which is really exciting for him...he thrives on the fast-paced nature of the ER. Its so nice for us that our first experience with the Navy has been so easy (so far!). Nate goes to work around 6:30 and is usually home by 5:30. I love having him home every night and we love being able to be together all the time after spending almost 10 months apart. He is doing really well and I'm so proud of him for his hard work and for the work that he is doing for our family and our country. He also has been training for marathons and already completed his first marathon on the 1st of January. He did great! He's my love cheetah...so fast!
Right now I'm a stay at home mommy so nothing really exciting from day to day but it is amazing getting to spend my time with my son and being able to see him grow and experience the world every day. Its wonderful getting to see the world through the eyes of a child again. He is amazed by the lights of the Christmas tree and the t.v....I love seeing his eyes get wide when he sees something bright or colorful and I absolutely adore the way he smiles and giggles when we talk to him and make noises for him. I'm still trying to catch up on sleep and rest (thanks Tucker for only sleeping 3-4 hours at a time at night) but I'm doing really great. I've started getting to gym and working out so I'm well on my way to getting my pre-prego body back. My new year's resolution is to lose 15 lbs (the rest of the baby weight) and just be healthier for myself and for my family. I've given up soda pop (my vice) to help cut out some of the excess sugar I eat. I'm really proud of myself so far! Its going to be a great year!
Well, that's all for now. I know its not alot to make up for over 3 months but oh well...I will just start on being better now!
Well, so I guess I will try to do the last few months a little bit of justice. Nate has started his job at the hospital, we moved to Silverdale, WA....I'm forgetting something...oh, right, we had Tucker! Our sweet baby boy joined us on the 27th of September (11 days overdue! Oy!) at 8 lbs 12.5 oz. and 22 inches. He is truly the light of our lives and most certainly keeps us on our toes day and night! He already has a strong personality and he is not afraid to let anyone know it!
So far the things that he does are as follows:
Roll over (every now and again) from tummy to back and once or twice from back to tummy
Grabs toys and puts them in his mouth
Talks and giggles and coos
Grips fingers and clothes and hair
"Stands" up when pulled to feet
Recognizes Mommy and Daddy and our voices
Chews on his Tigger beanie
Holds head up entirely on his own
Sits up in his bumbo chair
Grabs feet and sometimes bites them
Tracks faces, toys, hands, etc.
He is our Wonder Baby! He amazes us each and every day with his cuteness and by how smart he is. We just love him so much and are so grateful for the blessing that he is to our family. We call him an animal because he is incredibly feisty. He has already mastered the art of fake crying to get our attention. He yells for us when we aren't paying him enough attention and he is feeling left out. He loves, or better yet, NEEDS to be snuggled and held and loved all the time. Tucker is incredibly demanding of my time and energy but I truly wouldn't have it any other way. I call him my "practice baby" but I think he refers to me as his "practice mommy"...he's never been a baby before and I've never been a mommy so we're both figuring things out. I'd give us both an A+ so far!
As I said earlier, Nate is working at the hospital now in the Family Practice Clinic. Back in October he got his orders to Bremerton, WA with him working at Naval Hospital Bremerton. We, technically, live in Silverdale on Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor. (I'm still learning all the lingo, etc.) The hospital is actually on a separate base but its only about 10 minutes from the base we live on. Everything is really great here! We live in a cute 2 bedroom apartment in a really nice, family neighborhood. We live a couple minutes (a 10 minute walk outside) from the Navy Exchange, Commisary, Post Office, gym, movie theater, etc. Its great that all our needs can be met on base but Silverdale is literally like a couple miles down the highway so we are about 10 minutes from Target, Pier 1, Barnes and Noble, the mall, etc. Its really great to have the benefits of living near the city but with the privacy and seclusion (not to mention safety) of living on the naval base.
Nate loves his job. As I said, he's working at the Family Practice Clinic at the hospital...he's met alot of great people there and they love him and think he is doing a great job! He's also done a couple shifts in the ER, which is really exciting for him...he thrives on the fast-paced nature of the ER. Its so nice for us that our first experience with the Navy has been so easy (so far!). Nate goes to work around 6:30 and is usually home by 5:30. I love having him home every night and we love being able to be together all the time after spending almost 10 months apart. He is doing really well and I'm so proud of him for his hard work and for the work that he is doing for our family and our country. He also has been training for marathons and already completed his first marathon on the 1st of January. He did great! He's my love cheetah...so fast!
Right now I'm a stay at home mommy so nothing really exciting from day to day but it is amazing getting to spend my time with my son and being able to see him grow and experience the world every day. Its wonderful getting to see the world through the eyes of a child again. He is amazed by the lights of the Christmas tree and the t.v....I love seeing his eyes get wide when he sees something bright or colorful and I absolutely adore the way he smiles and giggles when we talk to him and make noises for him. I'm still trying to catch up on sleep and rest (thanks Tucker for only sleeping 3-4 hours at a time at night) but I'm doing really great. I've started getting to gym and working out so I'm well on my way to getting my pre-prego body back. My new year's resolution is to lose 15 lbs (the rest of the baby weight) and just be healthier for myself and for my family. I've given up soda pop (my vice) to help cut out some of the excess sugar I eat. I'm really proud of myself so far! Its going to be a great year!
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